My First Love

It never was sweet with you,

was it?

Never what I wanted it to be.

I was so blind,

so unaware.

I thought it was love.

But for you it was only lust.

Never a sweet kiss,

never a simple embrace.

Your words,

a blindfold over my eyes.

Trusting words,

words originated to build up,

never to tear down.

Phrases like

“I love you.”

“It’s okay.”

and

“Forever.”

You lassoed me close.

And I didn’t struggle.

I was your puppet,

tied together by my fragile heartstrings.

You played along with me for a while,

but then you got bored.

So you snapped the strings.

And walked away.

Leaving me alone

hurt,

and without a friend.

And what hurt the most,

as I laid there in pain.

Was that you never gave a backwards glance.

You just walked away.

Months I lived with the pain,

my tears my only friend.

Until the day I realized,

I don’t need you.

What I do need is self assurance.

To build up my core.

To stand on my own two feet

and to find friends who care.

So I guess you could say I’m over you 

and let me make this clear.

I can stand on my own now. 

So I have nothing to fear.