That Feeling

You know that feeling the split second before you fall?
That moment of pure terror.
Because you don't quite know what's going on,
what's going to happen,
or how it's going to end.

You know that feeling when your heart aches?
When barbed wire wraps itself around your heart
squeezes,
and doesn't let go?

Do you know that feeling, when you know something bad is going to happen.
But you can't stop it?
With every fiber in you, you try to make it better,
but nothing happens.
There's nothing you can do.

Now imagine this,
all that fear,
pain,
and helplessness
crumpled up into one big ball of never ending insanity.

It's not fun.
It's not pleasant.
And no, I can not "just get over it."

This is what I feel every time I get scared,
see his face,
her face,
or disappoint someone.  

But that's okay.
People say,
it's just fear.