Retain It.

Have you ever felt so lost in the world?
Like you just go day by day, just trying to find who you really are?
But everything is already laid out for you.
People already "know" who you are,
they've defined you.
categorized you into your own little box,
covered the top and labeled it with your name.
Your name.
Not theirs.
You can try to break free,
but is the struggle worth it?
It is worth everyone worrying.
Trying to force you back into that box.
The box with no windows,
and no room to breathe?
Is it worth the scathing comments?
Words never meant to leave the mind.

Because you're too young to really know who really are.
Too young to make choices.
Too little.
Minuscule,
insignificant,
worthless.

It's so easy isn't it?
So easy to tear yourself down,
to throw yourself on the floor,
and just lay there.
Swimming in self-pity and regret.

You're not sure what to say, do, or feel.
You just know that these feelings,
scare the hell out of you.
And if you don't release them soon,
they'll eat you from the inside out.
Then nothing will be left except old apologies, and new fears.

So to break the box or retain it.
To lose the label or keep it.
Let your feelings devour you,
or let them go.
Just whatever you do,
don't look back.

Someday

How long will this last?
This subsiding love.
How I can't hold on to a relationship
when push comes to shove?

I know he wasn't right.
The love wasn't true.
But something inside me
is feeling so blue.

I want to cry.
I want my tears to wash away my pain.
My heart it aches,
trying to heal from it's last sprain.

I know there's someone out there
waiting for me.
I know they'll be kind
you just wait and see.

They'll be caring,
considerate,
charming,
and calm.
There will be someone
to keep me out of harm.

We'll love each other fully
with nothing in the way.
That is what I'm hoping for,
someday.

Used To

The ultimate feeling of loneliness.
Proceeds to apply when the emptiness of your soul
echos with the helpless cries of your heart.

When you realize old connections are lost,
and new ones just aren't quite making the cut.

All you want is your best friend back.
Not necessarily the person them self,
but just the friendship you used to have.

July 21, 2011

I’m sick of dreams I can not control. 

Sick, of the dreams that torture my soul.

Theses dreams are haunting, and show no remorse.

I want to kill them, find the source. 

But the source, of course. 

Is me.